Unconditional Love

            My mother can be as soft as melted butter or she as hard as a rock. There is two ways I mean this. The softness comes from her mothering side. Being there for her kids whenever one of them needs her, or if they have a problem they can talk to her about anything. She can be as hard as a rock, if it doesn’t go her way it doesn’t go at all. Ask my brothers. Growing up we looked at her as evil, and none of us thought it was for a purpose.

            Love is one of the words that I didn’t feel when I was growing up,         it was showed in other ways then gifts and hugs. We got punishments and chores. I am glad that we weren’t showered in praise. Growing up might have been tough but I think I am going to be okay in the real world. I have a lot of things that have prepared me for it. Such as doing my own laundry. I have had to do my own laundry since I was 8. I have had a job since I was 15, to buy my own school clothes. Just a few examples of what I was brought up with.

            She never really payed attention much when she was younger, when we were younger. She always wanted to go out to her friends, or leave us with a sitter while she went to work. During this time, I met C Fish. She knows a lot of the shit we have been through, and what had to go through. My mother, and her father were best friends.

            My mother was working a lot as soon as me and my big brother started school, and we didn’t see much of my mom. She would always stop by and see us but there was always another person at the house, like a boyfriend or even a sitter. (We never went without a sitter… Until I turned 15…) Bing a little kid, your supposed to have adult supervision but, we like to switch things up a bit. The sitter would fall asleep, and my mom would show up drunk. The sitter would be passed out and my mom would pound on the door until 4 year old Ashley came running to the door hoping to spend a few moments with momma.

            My mother was almost always there for us and she wouldn’t change having kids at such a young age, she would probably have slapped our asses a little more. We were awful kids because of my moms boyfriends. None of them could compare to our real dads so we tried to kill them, make them scared for their lives. Most of them worked except for Steve. He has been in my moms life since she was young, turns out they were meant to be.

            Our moms love was unconditional, but she still was there. She may have been inconsiderate, but she still cared. She may have chosen her boyfriend over her child, but she would still talk about anything. She may have kicked me out, but I still love her.